Let’s be honest: very few of us, whether we’re 15 or 65, can be truly objective when we’re head over heels in love or in lust. So, it’s a bit of a given that when making sexual choices, we can rest assured that our judgment is bound to be a little colored from the get-go. Being in love, having a crush, and sexual partnership is heady stuff. That’s some of why it can feel so nice. Colloquially, some of us call that space NRE, or new relationship energy. It’s great stuff, and it feels fantastic (and it should!), but it can do quite a number on our analytical or critical thinking.
It’s important to recognize that when we’re in that space, we probably need to use a little more caution than usual when making decisions because those feelings can really do a number on our heads as well as our hearts. Other additional factors may also be at play which can impair sound judgment: body or self-image issues, feeling pressured to be sexually active or have a sexual or romantic partner, performance pressures, rebellion or conformity issues, and even simple curiosity.
So, it’s generally sound to assume that we’re probably going a little faster than we would otherwise, and so we should be sure to step back inasmuch as we can, and evaluate where we’re going, what we’re agreeing to, and what we’re initiating. Asking for more time to consider something, asking that something going very fast get its reins pulled in for a bit or asking for some physical or emotional space to consider sexual decisions is always, always okay. Asking friends, family or people you value in your community for input and advice is always a good idea, even if you end up disagreeing with what they contribute — divergent opinions are going to give you food for thought so you can make the best choices for you in the end.
And by all means, handicapping your judgment intentionally from the outset with alcohol or drugs which impair your critical thinking is just never a wise idea.
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